Bipolar Syndrome And Passion

May 8th, 2012

I am and always will be a very passionate person. I do things with passion, I do things because of my passion and I love passion passionatly. Being bipolar has given this to me. I have the ability to tap into my emotions (albeit sometimes unstable) and use those emotions to bring out an unbridled side of myself, a side of myself who cares less what the world thinks of her and more of what she loves and is passionate about.

My site for example is a passion. I write because I am passionate. I write because I love with all my heart and soul to write. Being bipolar gives me that. It gives me that feeling that I can yell and scream and sing it at the top of my lungs. It gives me that feeling of invincibility, that devil may care attitude, that this is me take me as I am persona, and I love it.

Many studies have been done to find some sort of correlation between mental disorders and creativity and although the jury is still out on a whole, many of them have found that yes indeed, the factors that cause us to be diagnosed as having a mental disorder or being bipolar are the very same traits and behaviours that cause us to be creative and have that passion to tap into.

So what does this mean?

Does it mean that being bipolar makes you more creative? Or is it simply we are more intune with our minds, our thoughts, our feelings and therefore better able to put it on paper, or in paint, or any other creative outlet we choose.

Honestly, I don’t care what the studies have to sy. I know that because of who I am and the things I was born with, I am passionate, and if that certain thing that makes it that way is me being bipolar, then so be it.

Dr. Schuldberg notes. “It seems like bipolar symptoms can help in creativity by giving people self-confidence, energy, optimism, and it can help them generate and link ideas,” Dr. Schuldberg says, warning “if the symptoms are too strong, things fall apart.”

Then it seems, it is the middle ground that holds the most benefit. The area of being bipolar where you can function and think, where you can dream, believe, and create.That middle ground that bestows passion, and not the other extremes that destroy our very lives.

So as odd as it may seem, I am grateful for the gift being bipolar has granted me and I hope that it helps others in their quest for happiness by granting them the passion they need to do the things they love.

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming – “WOW – What a Ride!” -Anon.

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Bipolar Syndrome And Seasonal Cycling

May 5th, 2012

I’m a rapid cycler, very rapid at times. (Rapid cyclers have more than 4 cycles per year of depression and mania) Other times I will hold onto my current mood for months to years on end. My longest manic cycle was in and around 2 years! Other times they hold onto me for 2 weeks to a month. One thing I’ve noticed though since charting my moods, is that weather plays a big role in my cycles.

When the weather is nice, warm and sunny you’re more apt to find me in a manic state be it mild or otherwise. When the weather is cold and harsh, as it is today I fall into the darkness of depression. I’m not the biggest fan on going outside but when it’s cold and snowing out, I don’t want to do anything. I prefer even the mild mania that comes with having the windows wide open, the sun shining in and the warm summer breeze blowing through the house.

I try to regulate my moods as much as possible on those dark days with the help of light therapy, which is my friend through the cold winter months. And I spend that time wishing for the warmth of the sun on my skin, the heat of the summer, and simply lying out in the yard absorbing all the beautifulness that is summer.

Watching the way my moods cycle in my mood chart shows me, and proves to me that seasons play a role in my bipolar syndrome, a big one. Of course I do my best to alter those cycles. I cannot spend 6 months of the year locked in my home, depressed and unable to get out of bed, but having the natural seasons help keep me elevated at least 6 or so months a year does helps break some of those dark unescapable slumps. Some days, yes, I would prefer the ability to regulate my moods simply by my own will power and not by the weather and seasons decisions, but other days I do give in and welcome the sun to lighten my mood.

Bipolar syndrome can and will always be a struggle in my life, but I have come to learn and accept as much as I can about it and know, as does my support group, that when the snow falls I need extra help, and when the sunshines, I need to be watched for progression into mania. Till I either overcome being bipolar or the seasons stop changing all I can do is accept that I have bipolar syndrome and am a seasonal cycler.

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